All Stories are New.
Stories, written and in films, often treat trans characters as deficient, as broken, rarely looking any deeper than their appearance. Trans characters in film usual fall into mostly negative narratives, usually dependent upon others good graces for their survival. Family and friends get to be who decides if the trans character will be accepted, tolerated and simply thrown away.
My story has not been sensational, my struggles though personal can be found in the lives of so many. My memoirs, I hope, speaks more to resolve and of a deep desire to see things through even if not knowing where I might end up. Being of trans origin is not uniquely special at least not for me, what makes being of trans origin difficult is what comes from outside us, namely family, friends and society in general. Bigotry, prejudice, transphobia, misogyny and the violence they engender towards people of trans origin is what turns our lives into nightmares.
My childhood was good even if we were considered economically poor, my parents were decent people and did their best and I know that they did try to accept me once I had gone through my transition. My own dysphoria goes back to being a child and just having the sense that somehow, for a reason I could not comprehend then, my body and I didn’t fit well together, this was my constant source of angst growing up. But this is part of my narrative and is in the book.
I happen to think that my story is one of hope, of surviving and coming out the other side a woman who knows herself and of finding a degree of happiness and purpose. The arts and a need for adventure brought me in contact with a wide variety of people, philosophies, and love. I have survived many negative events in my life and have also discovered happiness through creativity and a need to understand more about life in general.
The personal life account narrative has taken a hit lately in trans based story telling in favour of one that bends more towards gender politics. This isn’t to say that I’m not into those narratives, I find many of them of great interest, just as I will always consider the personal story as fascinating as always. There is ample room for all. The gatekeeper issue is one that rears its ugly head no matter where is on this topic. Maybe for the gender theoreticians there is s feeling that the trans memoir is overdone, dépassé as it were and would prefer not to see any more, preferring scientific accounts. In any case, gatekeeping leads to a form of fascism, of us and others and I do not subscribe to such notions.
You see, for me and this is from childhood, it was imperative to somehow fix my body’s appearance in order to bring it into harmony with my sense of me. I am but only one type of person of trans origin, many others are perfectly fine with no or little body changes, of fluidity of gender or no gender, and I also embrace and celebrate all.